Only when I pray is a short series of thought-provoking reflections based loosely around the theme of prayer as found in Luke 11:1-13.

Today’s readings are: (1) - and (2) -

Colossians 1:13-14

He has delivered us from the power of darkness and has conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. New King James Version

Mark 11:25

And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it’s not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive [them] — [only then] will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins.” The Message

Today’s reflection is, of course, about forgiveness, which is a 2-way street as you will see. Today is not so much about us being forgiven for our sins, we know Jesus died that we might be forgiven for our sin, but today it’s about us forgiving the physical and emotional grievances and hurt and pain that others have caused us or that we have caused them. And that’s hard, very hard.

Listen to today’s song, I know forgiveness.

Have you ever been bullied – physically or emotionally? At school, your place of work, your home, marriage, social circle? Bullying comes in many forms from many directions and is a master of disguise! Thankfully, I haven’t experienced any aimed toward myself, but I’ve seen the damage inflicted on others and I know that some of its scars are more visible than others.

Perhaps when you hear the word bully you think of school. I do remember one bully in Primary School (that’s a long time ago), a big lad whom I can still see in my mind’s eye running around the playground spitting into other kids’ faces and in their hair before running away laughing.

Bullying/abuse, both physical and emotional, is much more widespread and significantly more destructive than we often care to admit. All of it is abhorrent and we should find help, for ourselves or others, to deal with it where it exists.

I have seen friends in my social circle, work colleagues and even other family members on the receiving end of bullying, nasty abuse and intimidation. Proverbs 26:17 advises us not to get into quarrels that are not ours.

Don’t be quick to get mixed up in someone else’s fight. That’s like grabbing a stray dog by its ears. NIRV

Yes, I can see the logic of this, however, this also seems like a cop-out, an excuse we can use to not get involved. And yet it is so hard to hold your peace, bite your lip, stand by and watch or even, God forbid, close your eyes when you see pain and anguish being visited on someone you know or love who doesn’t deserve it. Bullying and abuse may be quite visible or deceitfully hidden. It may be a fleeting one-off incident in some cases but it may also be persistent and relentless over many years.

Some on the receiving end seem able to absorb it, shrug it off and may appear to get over it quickly; others are crushed by it and take much longer to heal - or forgive. This is a big subject for another time; today we are thinking primarily about forgiveness; forgiveness for wrongs unjustly visited on us or those we love - and forgiveness like that is difficult in the extreme!

We may even feel a sense of anger toward God for “allowing” pain and anguish in our lives and we may need to ask Him for our forgiveness in thinking that way. If we are harbouring any bitterness toward Him then, yes, we do!

Mark 11:22

“If you have anything against someone, forgive [them] — only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins.” The Message

We know we are required to forgive - and here’s the caveat – we must forgive so that our own forgiveness may be complete. You see, it is a 2-way street.

Let’s break down some of the thoughts in today’s song.

– Forgiveness is a conscious decision we need to make toward someone who has wronged us - and that requires healing and the mellowing of our hearts.

– We also need to ask for forgiveness from others that we know we have wronged – and that requires honesty and humility on our part, acknowledging that what we did was wrong. Your wrong, may first need pointed out to you by someone else!

– The reward for forgiveness is peace. Peace in heart, soul and mind.

The last verse of the song says; In order for the sun to blaze it cannot hide behind a haze that keeps its light from reaching those in shadow. The questions I want to finish today with are these:

1 - Is there someone you know you have wronged from whom you need to ask forgiveness?

2 - Have you been (or are still being) wronged by someone? If so, you may need to dig really deep, to find even a shred of forgiveness before taking that step to forgive. But start now by finding a good spade and dig deep!

May our prayer today be that we will come to know forgiveness - from both sides – the completion of our forgiveness depends on it.