Only when I pray is a short series of thought-provoking reflections based loosely around the theme of prayer as found in Luke 11:1-13.

Today’s reading is from Ephesians 3:20

Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of—infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes. Living Bible

[Know this] God can do anything… far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it, not by pushing us around but by working within us, by his Spirit deeply and gently within us. The Message

The main subject of today’s reflection is loss coupled with what seems like unanswered prayer – and that is not an easy subject to deal with.

Listen now to today’s song, Where were You.

There is a deeply moving personal story behind this song; it tells the story of loss with all the accompanying pain. The words convey very real and raw feelings and emotions of mental confusion, heartache and hopelessness as the reality of the loss sets in while clinging futilely to an evaporating dream. All this feeling of, “Why did You let this happen, Lord?” vented toward God in a way that most of us can relate to, though perhaps not specifically under the same circumstances. But we all have, at some time, challenged God, asking Him why, maybe even accusing Him of not answering our prayers or allowing our dreams to be fulfilled in the way that we anticipated.

But God does know best. He does! From our limited human perspective we see little more than a few pieces of life’s jigsaw that we are trying to make into an image of our own design; but He sees the finished picture - and that is something worth remembering and holding on to.

You can decide on the circumstances of the loss referred to in this song for yourselves, but you can’t fail to see the searching, questioning desire to understand that which can only be understood by the One to whom the questions were directed. We may never know the answer to any of our questions this side of eternity.

The song, in verse 2, refers to, storm-clouds that would seek to overwhelm. Who among us has never felt the weight of despair, of being in the midst of a storm, that whichever way we turn we are facing into the wind and rain unable to see or hear a thing – least of all, God? We feel forgotten about, ignored, alone, that our hopes and dreams don’t matter. Nothing could be further from the truth – He’s there, we just don’t see Him in that moment as the storm rages around us with our eyes full of tears.

Although we may not feel God’s presence in the midst of a storm, let’s see what scripture has to say about God’s attention toward us. Here are just a few of the many, many verses on God’s promise to be with us - at all times!

Psalm 139:17-18 affirms God is thinking about us always;

How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me. And when I waken in the morning, you are still thinking of me! Living Bible

In Isaiah 41:13 we also read these reassuring words;

Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go. I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic. I’m right here to help you. The Message

And then in Matthew 28:20 the promise of Jesus is;

“…I am with you always, even to the end of the world.” Living Bible

In today’s reflection once the full realisation of the loss had settled in there were tough choices to be made and challenges to be overcome which the song reveals: The challenges that came my way, I met them headlong, every day. One by one I’d see them through, though it was hard, I trusted You. And that was/is the hard part – to keep moving forward while looking up. It is useful, essential even, to meet with trusted friends who can bring comfort and love and strength while praying together and opening hearts to the Lord, seeking guidance from Him for the direction of life’s next step.

Today’s song concludes with a positive realisation that the dream that was being clung on to was not so much dissolving as evolving - evolving into a new life phase having also clung on, by the fingertips, to God and trusting in Him. And yes, a new outcome came. Faith persevered, hope was renewed, the metaphorical clouds overhead broke and let the Son shine through.

Bright days lay ahead with a stronger, more resilient heart as another piece of God’s picture was revealed and then, from a different perspective, could the acknowledgement be made that His way was indeed beautiful.

Today, reflect on your own specific loss and the associated feelings that accompanied it and pray for others whom you know are hurting because of a loss in their lives. Perhaps in some cases your specific loss* led to something better, but perhaps it did not – each of our circumstances are different. Either way, be reassured of God’s abiding presence with you through whatever comes your way, whether loss or gain, and give Him thanks for His promise to be with you always. Remember, only He can see the finished picture.

*Although today’s loss refers to personal bereavement, remember that loss comes in many other forms: family or marital break-up, the loss of a job or any other number of ways…